Texas or Colorado??? Where will we end up???

Okay, so I haven't posted anything in a while now.  I've been so crazy in my own head that I can't even begin to describe all the things that I'm thinking, feeling, and experiencing lately.  So, I guess I haven't even posted the duty station that Jeff has been assigned to...........A few weeks ago I checked his 'Army account,' as I like to call it, and it said Fort Bliss Texas!!  Are you kidding me??!  That is the LAST place I want to go!!!  I do NOT want to be in El Paso on the border of Mexico and live there with my children!!  Now, no, I've never been to Texas.  I really have nothing to go off of except for what I've heard and read about El Paso.  Most people say that this is one of the worst or the worst bases to be stationed at.  REALLY?!?!  Am I THAT unlucky??!?! And for those of you who know me well know that I DESPISE the heat!!  Anything over 72 degrees and I start whining and getting crabby.  I can only imagine what it would be like in Texas!!! 


So, basically, we've been trying like hell to get out of this.  Because of Owen's 'disease' (it's hard for me to write that word......wow) we had to fill out special paperwork.  Basically, it is SUPPOSED to make it possible to ONLY go to bases where he has the medical care he needs available to him.  After a long process, the paperwork has been turned in.......but now they are saying it could take 6 weeks to process it!  Well, Jeff graduates in 22 days!!  Luckily, Jeff has talked to a Sergeant about our situation.  Jeff told him that we are not comfortable bringing Owen to El Paso and having to rely on the doctors there.  (I know that makes us sound like snots, but I don't care.)  When it comes to my children, we will fight to the death for them.  And maybe I shouldn't judge a place before I've even seen it, but I don't have ANY desire to go to El Paso and I don't want my son to have to see doctors there.  He has EXCELLENT doctors here in Minnesota and he will be needing more surgeries down the road, so it is essential that we end up somewhere with GREAT doctors!  Okay, back to Jeff's deal........He told this Sergeant our situation and he asked, "Well, where do you WANT to go??"  Jeff told him that our ideal place would be Fort Carson Colorado.  The Sgt. made it sound like it wouldn't be a problem and he would see what he could do to get the orders changed.


Well, nothing has changed and we are 22 days away from Jeff being done.  Jeff talked to this same Sgt. AGAIN yesterday and he is still working on getting orders changed.  He said it just needs to be signed off by someone else and then we should be good to go.  Of course this makes me wonderfully excited, but I'm not going to count on anything until it's official.  I am absolutely unaccepting of the Ft. Bliss situation and I have even considered NOT going because of my strong feelings against it.  I know a lot of people think that I'm being selfish for not wanting to go, but I'm thinking about my child and his health and I'm thinking about our safety in general.  I've heard some really nasty things about the El Paso area.......not to mention that the schools have terrible ratings down there!  I would most likely have to have my kids do online school if we move there.  Seriously.  Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I have extremely high expectations for the education my kids will receive.  I will not 'settle' just because it's more convenient.  And I am not FOR home schooling.  I think it deprives children of the social interactions that they desperately need at that age.  But if it meant keeping them safe and well educated, I would be willing to look for other alternatives temporarily. 


I've had so many different scenarios go through my head in the past month and I cannot even begin to put them all into words!!  I am excited, terrified, stressed out, and exhausted from all of this!  I miss Jeff terribly and I just want this part to be over and done with.  He is also missing us and we are very excited for the next 22 days to go quickly.  But......it also means that in 22 days our world will flip upside down and inside out and I have no idea what's on the other side.  Yes, technically it 'says' we are going to Texas, but I will not plan on going there until it's "official."  I am so in denial about Texas that I refuse to look at homes for rent online.  I did at first and it makes me cry!  These houses are hideous and small and in bad neighborhoods and I just won't do it!  If we end up moving to Texas, I will wait until we actually get down there to find something.  I want to look at a place in person before deciding to live there.  It's also really hard to find a house the size that we need for a price that works.  There's a 'housing crisis' going on at Ft. Bliss, I guess.  There's NO WAY we could even live on post if we wanted to.......the waiting list is horribly long.  Which is fine, because I don't think I want to live on base anyway.  On the other hand, I have also looked at houses for rent in Colorado and there are tons of choices and we could easily find a house that's big enough for a decent price.  I wouldn't have a problem picking one out online and going with it.  But Texas, nope!  I won't do that unless I see it for myself! 


So, other than not knowing where the heck we are going in the next few weeks, things have been okay.  Julian finished Preschool last week and they had a little graduation ceremony.  It was cute and he was proud!  I can't believe he's going to be a Kindergartner next year!!  And today is Owen's last day of first grade!!  Where has the last year gone?!?  Don't get me wrong.......I am so sick of waking up at 6am to get Owen up and ready for school......so that's going to be so nice to be able to *hopefully* sleep in a bit!  We shall see!


Owen has been doing really well with his voice lately, too.  We have learned some more techniques and he's been practicing and he's getting louder!!  Everyone has commented on it, too.  I've even had to tell him to be quiet!!!  I haven't said that to him in soooo long!  Owen recently had an appointment with his ENT and they looked in his throat.  The papillomas are growing back, but they aren't causing any blockage at this point.  His doctor said he wants to see him at the end of June to check them again.  I suppose I should get used to this, because we will probably be doing these doctor visits a lot.......especially in the next few years.  He technically has what is called RRP (I can't remember if I blogged about this before).  It stands for Recurrent Respiratory Papillomatosis.  Basically, he has warts that grow on his vocal cords and he has to have them removed........and warts are a 'forever' thing and they grow back.  So, I'm sure we have many surgeries and doctor appointments ahead.  Some people that have RRP have to have surgery on a weekly basis to have them removed!!  So far, we've been lucky, I guess, because Owen has only had one surgery so far.  But, even the ENT said the papillomas (warts) are starting to grow back, so that pretty much means another surgery in the somewhat near future.  It just depends on how quickly they grow.  It's a very heartbreaking experience for me as his mother.  I can only imagine how this will affect him as he gets older. *sigh*


Julian had a bit of excitement the other day.......He lost his first tooth!!!  Already!  Owen was almost 7 when he lost his first tooth and Julian is only 5!  I just found out last week that he had a loose tooth and he was eating a piece of string cheese on Tuesday and it just fell out!!  He didn't even pull it or anything!  I was shocked and he was wonderfully excited!!  The Tooth Fairy came and left him $5.00!  He thought that was pretty cool! 


Cleo is a little diva.  She's usually pretty happy, but if you piss her off.......oh boy!  If looks could kill!!!  Yesterday she was totally being a butt and she was getting in Julian's face and kicking him for no reason.  So I told her to knock it off and she looked at me and said, "NO!"  So, I got up, spanked her and put her on the couch.  She cried for about 20 minutes, because she was mad at me.  (She's not usually the one getting spanked in this house!)  She look at me with a nasty little look and says, "Mommy, I don't like you in this house!  I want you go to work!"  I told her that I wish I could go to work, but I don't have a job!  So she sat there and sulked for another 20 minutes and then said to me in a matter-of-fact kind of way while using hand gestures, "Momma, you no spank me again, okay?"  I said, "Well, then you need to listen to me.  If you listen to me and be nice, then I won't spank you."  She said, "All right!  I will!"  (in a fine....geez.....kind of voice!"  It was pretty funny......but if she acts this way at 3, I can only imagine what she will be like as a teenager!!  Eeeek!  She is usually pretty funny, though, so as long as she's in a good mood, things are good with her!  :)


Westin is almost 17 months old and he still doesn't walk.  He can pull himself up and walk along the furniture, but he won't let go!!  Cleo didn't walk till 18 months, so I won't get too worried until then!  Ha Ha!  He has two teeth and his 3rd is ready to pop through any day now.  He's been pretty crabby because of it, too.  His sleeping has been messed up because of those little teeth!  It's times like this when I wish he would have gotten his teeth a long time ago!  Westin is also very funny.  He will make weird faces and do funny little things to make you laugh.  And once he figures out that he's being funny, he'll keep going!  He really is a little joy for the most part, but he's going to be trouble when he starts walking!!!  He LOVES to touch everything he shouldn't!  He's very curious about everything, so he'll be a feisty one!!


Jeff is doing well.  He's lost about 12 pounds since he left in February.  He told me yesterday he's going to need to buy new clothes when we move!  He is really hating Kentucky. I guess it's hot and humid and I think he's allergic to some stuff down there!  He's pretty much been sick since he got there and he just wants to be done.  I still get to talk to him just about every day, which has been wonderful.  We text everyday and usually talk at least once per day.  We've been very lucky.  He's feeling like he made the wrong decision in joining the Army, though.  He believes he's suppose to finish his Law Enforcement degree and be a cop somewhere.  He has pretty much made up his mind that he doesn't want to re-enlist after his 3 year contract with the Army ends.  I told him we should just take it one day at a time, but I think this experience has been harder on him than he ever imagined it would be.  But, even though we've had our rough patches and it's been hard at times, I am so proud of him for everything he's done for our family.  He's an amazing father and husband and I couldn't ask for anyone more perfect to spend my life with.  We went into this process together and we are going to get through it together.  Perhaps this will just be a 3 year 'detour' in our lives and then we'll get take a different path to get to where we're supposed to be.  No matter what, though, I think everything happens for a reason and we were meant to do this.  We may hate every minute of it, but it's got to teach us something, right?!?!  Oh well, maybe we will LOVE it, too!  You never know!  I can pretty much bet that we will enjoy this experience more if we end up in Colorado!  But, it's not in my hands to decide.  Time will tell.  My husband has been amazing through all of this and he's listened to me cry, vent, rant, scream, yell, b**ch, moan, and whine about this process.  I know I haven't always been the best through this experience and I feel terrible about it.  I wish I could make this whole thing easier on him, but I know it will get easier once he's finally done with his AIT training.  As much as I complain and stress about everything, I really AM excited to see what's next on this crazy journey!  I know we will make the best of the situation, as we always do, and we will all be okay.  (even if we end up in Texas.....)  Well, that's all for now.  I will have to post more when I actually find out more about our 'future residence!' 


For all of you who follow my blog and actually read the crap I write, I thank you for 'listening' to me.  I know it's probably boring to read, but at least I can look back at this a year from now and most likely laugh at the situation.  It doesn't seem funny to me now, but I'm sure it will be down the road!!  Thanks for hanging in there with me and being supportive.  We all appreciate everyone's love, concern, kindness, and positive thoughts!  We love you all! 


~Rachelle (the girl who has so much to do and doesn't even know where to begin!!!)   :)